The Dangerous Trap of Assumptions

  1. Stop! Don’t blindly go with the feeling. Slow down the reactions, take a deep breath and acknowledge you may be wrong. You might be misunderstanding something.
  2. Ask! Check in with your partner about what they meant. It can be as simple as “are you mad, because you tone sounds kinda angry?” or “Hey that felt a bit critical, did you mean it to?” or “We haven’t been spending time together, are you upset at me?”
  3. Clarify! Take it one stop beyond the ask and let your partner know what happened in you “When I heard your quick reply, I thought you were mad because that is a tone that is really hard for me. Thanks for clarifying.” Or “It seems like you have been gone a lot and what has been happening in me is that you don’t want to spend time with me. Can we talk about this more?”

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store