Creating a Balanced Relationship Through Gratitude

  1. Write down 2- 3 things you appreciate about your partner or relationship. It can be something they did, said, who they are, or even more general about the relationship
  2. Ask your partner to sit down with you and while making eye contact tell them the appreciations you wrote
  3. Ask them not to say anything back right away and to take in your appreciation. Sit with eye contact for 30–60 seconds.
  4. This is important because people often feel uncomfortable with appreciation even if they want it; there is a tendency to want to move quickly past it. Yet the brain needs time to let it really sink in.
  5. To end the time, give some type of physical affection: hug, kiss, hand squeeze, etc
  • Do you feel more connected to your partner?
  • Does your partner seem to show up in different ways more?
  • Do issues that bugged you before seem less triggering?



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The Couples Institute Counseling Services

The Couples Institute Counseling Services

Specialized counseling services for couples and individuals throughout the San Francisco Bay Area.